There are few people whose name alone make people smile, and Dan Dayton was one of them.
Most of the folks worldwide who have heard the sad news of his passing on Monday have emailed me something along the lines of : 'Your Dad was a character, a great storyteller and I have so many stories to tell, but I'm afraid that this may not be the time to tell those...'
I can assure you all, that it is TIME to tell them. There is no better time, which is what this blog is designed for. I would love to pull all the stories and gritty pieces together and write a book someday, as he had always wanted to do for himself. Any details you can remember are welcome.
Dan is remembered for his hugs, his charm, his lateness and his impish humor. He is 'hunkered down' for good, and left this world with a smile on his face and half a dozen women fussing at his bedside.
He is smiling now.
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4 comments:
Dan lives on and will continue to do so. When it comes to living life, Dan set the standard (and the bar is high). We can never forget him: no one he ever met could ever forget him; so he lives on.
I am not sure exactly when or where I met Dan: I can't precisely remember.. in the late 70s in Paris or maybe London. But once we did meet, he immediately became part of my life: a randomly recurring part of its fabric.
One reason it is difficult to single out any particular episode of Dan's interaction with anyone's world is that every one of them was exceptional: with Dan there anything could happen, and it was unlikely to be normal. Picking one out seems unfair! But the one I would choose is when Dan flew over from the States to take care of the barbecue at my 50th birthday party in the south of France in 2003; or maybe lunch in London Zoo in 1983? Or Fasching in Munich a few years later... when he came to see us in Mill Neck in 2002 and gave Linda a huge and stunning canvas painted by an artist he knew in New York in the 60s. The flat in Paris with the pinball machines my kids played on; or the one in London with the Warhols; or when he came to stay a few months....
Dan definitely lives on......
And I shall post more detailed stories later.....
God Bless Dan and all who drank with him
Years ago Dan and I were asked by Nick Ritchie to take Nick’s two eldest sons for a weeks holiday in Tuscany. Dan and I were the kids respective Godfathers and Nina Ritchie was pregnant with Lucy and so neither Nick nor Nina could go.
In the first fee days of the holiday Dan’s Godson Edward (aged about 10) asked Dan – “What would you like to be if you were not a human”. Dan thought for a moment and replied “I would like to be a Labrador dog”. “Why” asked Edward”. “So I could stick my nose up a girl’ skirt without anyone objecting”. Dan suddenly realised that he had said the wrong thing so tried to correct it by saying – “NO!! I would want to be a Labrador because it has such a good life and a waggy tail”.
From then on, everyday Edward would ask Dan the same question – “Why do you want to be a Labrador”. Every time Dan would come up with some new and plausible reason.
On returning the kids to their parents,, the first thing Edward said to his mother was “Dan wants to be a Labrador so he can put his nose up a girl’s skirt”
Oh the joy of kids.
I will try to leave some pictures of Dan at Chris Golden’s 50th birthday party in France. Chris had flown Dan over especially so he could do the barbecue. The reason why Dan has a newspaper in front of him is so that I had proof he still existed as he had been on the “missing list” for some time.
O Uncle! My Uncle!
Uncle Danny. Those 2 words conjure up so many images in my mind…my memories.
There he is, returning from some adventure, dressed in khaki shorts, safari shirt, topsider shoes, some sort of satchel slung over his shoulder, aviator sunglasses and of course, most importantly, his University of Michigan baseball cap. (In tribute I just ordered one to wear in his memory, maybe we should all)
How he loved his Wolverines.
I could sit for hours just watching him sip a bloody Mary while he worked on the Times crossword. He had that kind of charisma.
His mastery of the English language was second to none. He loved to talk, and we all loved to listen.
The stories he could tell, the tales he could weave, we loved it when he would expound on different topics: politics, life, Alexa and Didi, Michigan football, and of course his favorite topic…women. He really should have had his own radio talk show, we can only imagine…
A personal favorite memory is from 1980 when my mother, brothers and I visited he and the girls in Paris. What a cool flat; the pinball machine, the tiny guestroom at the top of the staircase, the eclectic décor, the view onto the street, baguettes and Nutella, etc.
One afternoon he said “Come on John, let’s see Paris.” And with him there was only one real way to do that…motorcycle. WOW!!! Every young male’s fantasy, the freedom of a motorcycle. I put on the helmet and off we went. I felt like Nicholson to his Fonda. Snaking through back alley ways, flying down the Champs Elysees to the Arc de Triomphe, over to the Eiffel Tower, through the countryside out to Versailles, and of course he had to show his 16 year old nephew which park the hookers hung out in. What a ride!!!
What a life!!!
I could go on but perhaps another time, for now let’s all put on smile and join Dan on his grandest adventure yet. I’m sure he’s already giving the Big Guy and earful.
Have fun Uncle Danny.
A story I forgot to mention in all the emotion of Dan's sendoff is one that Snooze brought back as a wonderful memory. How lucky we both were to have a place ourselves on the mountaintop - only a couple of miles from the Briar Patch and two of the other homes that Dan used to collect almost as numerously as his various land, sea and air vehicles. We used to invite Dan over for dinner, sometimes with some of our more boring friends, and if the dinner conversation ever started to lag, I used to casually mention something about the marijuana laws in this country - knowing full well that would lead to at least a half hour of Dan on his soap box. Hs anyone mentioned yet that things with Dan were never dull?
Anyway - back to the story Snooze reminded me of. Dan hung on to the Briar Patch for an amazingly long time after he wasn't able to continue paying for its upkeep. (SO many happy memories of that wonderful house)! Well, a few years ago the time finally came when he'd exhausted all his options and a date certain for foreclosure was looming. We knew Dan well enough to know that the loss of that house was more than a little humiliating to him. Nevertheless, in a show of the type of dignity (not a word that may always pop up in descriptions of Dan, but it should) that I think he patented, he invited us over for dinner the night before he finally had to move out. There, warmed only by the wonderful, fume leaking wood burning stove in the kitchen, he served us up a wonderful, delicious meal in the warmest ambience you can imagine. What a class guy he was! I learned so much from him.
I'm still only beginning to adjust to the almost impossible notion of a world without Dan, so the countless memories left brewing in my mind will have to wait until I can get them organized. Didi, if you decide you want a co-author when you write your Dan book, I'd like to audition for the part.
Love to all you fellow travelers with Dan out there. How lucky we were to be on that journey.
Fish
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